Am i insecure or are my feelings normal?

i have decided to break up with someone because i am constantly suspicious of his activities. he tolerates it and will go to great lengths to prove he's not cheating or lying but i feel so guilty that i put him through this. obviously i've caught him lying...ALOT. and he apologized for it. he would cam with other women online. all was "forgiven" but now i am constantly worried. so out of fairness to him i broke it off,. i tried to make it work, i really did. he wants to talk about it, not sure what he has to say. he might beg me back, he might agree with the break up, i dont know. at this point i dont care what he has to say. i made a decision i am going to try to sitck to it. (weird though i'm anxious about him agreeing with the break up, no one wants to be told they too dont want you).you see, i'm all kinds of crazy but i'm not a jealous woman! so this is new to me. and i'm wondering is this something i should do? am i all of a sudden insecure at age 38? I'm handling this in the most logical way i know how, but my heart already misses him and second guessing my decision. any suggestions or words of encouragment from women who have been there done that would be greatly appreciated.